New to the Blog

For those frequent visitors I've added a couple of new 'features' that are located with the rest of the 'features' on the right-hand side of this page.

They are:

1) a wedding day countdown. Pretty cool, huh.

2) 2 new Resources for HER; Ohh!! Wedding Bee Trunk Shows and Wedding Veils

3) a new Link to Where's Brad?; my take on Where's Waldo except this one's less cartoonish since Brad's in Afghanistan. Be safe little brother.

The Officiant - Where does one begin?

officiant
of·fi·ci·ant
noun.
One who performs a religious rite or presides over a religious service or ceremony.

Let's be honest for a second. [Pause]

I have no idea where to begin when it comes to looking for an officiant. I'm not religious and therefore don't go to church so I don't have a 'family' priest. The same applies for Coco.

I guess that means we go with a judge of sorts, no? A judge? really? To me that seems so not how I've pictured my wedding. I think Sean and expecting-mother-to-be-Jenoa had a judge although I don't really remember. That's good right - the not remembering. The last thing I think we want is for our guests to remember our officiant. The officiant should be pleasantly forgettable. So maybe Sean and expecting-mother-to-be-Jenoa's was OK. Go figure.

A judge just seems to set the wrong tone personally. Spirituality is important to the both of us but we definitely don't want the ceremony sprinkled with too many 'loves'. Too many loves = bad. Ironic, isn't it.

I need to pause; I'm being beckoned.

Damn you Fortunoff!!!!!

The silver pattern that we spent hours selecting has just been discontinued!!!!

Typical. Just as we start to make Registry headway - BAM! - the corporate gods slap us back to the real world.

The saga, I'm afraid to admit,continues.

An Evolution

It's coming.

2 Down!! - What else is left??

Alright! The wheels of progress keep moving! Err - we've climbed some more steps to our goal.

Against my better judgment, Coco dragged Big A, the maid-of-honor and I (or is it 'me'? Check for yourself) to a band showcase this past Monday night. Against my better judgment because it was on a Monday that felt like a Sunday. Against my better judgment because it was at 8pm. 8pm?!? On a Monday that felt like a Sunday?!? Yeah, I know - I must really love this girl.

Where was I? Oh, right. Renegade. Renegade, who I've reviewed HERE, has always secretly been Coco's favourite. Who am I kidding - it was no secret just my lack of acceptance. David, the lead singer and band co-owner, is definitely a character. He comes across that way on their DVD and even more so at the showcase. They played a variety of genres and appeased Coco by playing both Beyonce and Journey. 2 stars. The female singer killed some songs that I just can't remember. Not the sexy vixen that's supposed to make up for not getting a sexy nanny enough in my opinion but it's supposed to be about voice, right fellas? Riiight.

To be honest, I didn't have to hear more than 8 bars to know that they would be the band to seal my fate - I mean, the band to accompany me accompanying Coco on the dance floor. All that kept racing through my mind was "How quickly can I speak to their rep and lock these guys to our date while the rest of the future-wives in attendance stare at their husbands-to-be thinking "If he (meaning me) has the same wedding date as us and gets this band, I will hold it against you FOREVER. F-O-R-E-V-E-R."" I wasn't the quickest but second in this case was good enough. In the immortal words of Nelson Muntz - "Ha Ha!"

Team Brefanie - 2, Sucker husbands-to-be - 0.

Go us.

The Registry - Round 2

So, today we hope to finish up our Registry. If we don't end up spending 2 hours trying to pick out formal flatware like we did last time maybe we can be out of Fortunoff's in less than 8 or 9 hours.

Some items we hope to register for if the masses haven't scooped them up already:

The Simpsons Do Donuts

Popeil's Pocket Fisherman. You know what they say - "Give a woman a fish; you have fed her for today. Teach a woman to fish; and you have fed her for a lifetime. Teach a woman to sell fish and she''ll have Jimmy Choos for life." Oh, and the right enticement.

Really nice salt-n-pepper shakers

Sprinkles? We don't need no stinkin' sprinkles!!

Help in the kitchen

A green trash compactor

Essential barware


Have I left anything out??

Oh, we've decided to dump the crystal stemware we've already chosen in favor of these. No doubt, an awesome find.

OMG. This will go great with the Bud Light Coco loves to drink.

Why Shonda Why?

[Coco, as if my posts don't sound gay enough, here you go making it seem like YOUR post is MINE. Gasp. Grey's Anatomy on my blog? As if. Moving forward please preface your posts by somehow letting the audience know its you and not me. Thanks for playing, baby. - TGTB]

I just have to get this off of my chest and it's not wedding related (but I will try to add it in where I can). Please note that I've never blogged before and have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know how to insert those links -- so that should make G$ very happy. I am however very disturbed by last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy (if you haven't seen it yet, please stop reading now!), I could barely sleep, I can't even focus today at work. I'm just too upset.

How the hell can Meredith be dead (Ellen Pompeo in real life is engaged to Chris Ivery)? If this is fact and not fiction, I am officially boycotting the show. Seriously, it can't be Grey's Anatomy without Meredith Grey. Shonda (the executive producer) says that she's doing things differently now, perhaps by differently she means ruining one of the best shows currently on television (besides Studio 60, please don't get me started on that). I get that Derek can't be Meredith's Knight in Shining Whatever but the poor guy has been through enough, let him be happy for once! But, how good was Patrick Dempsey's acting last night? I want Derek and Meredith to get MARRIED!! I guess I'll just have to be disturbed for another 6 nights, Thursday just can't come soon enough.

My hand

I'm all in. What do you got?

Happy Valentine's Day, Coco.*








*Due to circumstances beyond my control I've decided to dump FTD from my portfolio. Although their ticker is up almost 15% over 3 months and they may have seen a recent bump up since teaming up with Coco's hopeful wedding dress designer (V W in the house!), rumor has it they couldn't deal with a silly little, late-winter Nor'easter. Is 4 Times Square really that far?? I don't think so either.

ps....I don't mean Fahrvergnugen.

Green with Envy

For as long as I can remember Coco's been green. Not the green referenced by Cleopatra where "...My salad days, / When I was green in judgment, cold in blood..." harked youthful inexperience, enthusiasm, idealism, innocence and indiscretion - we all know how perfectly green in that sense Coco can be, and is, but the green that speaks to her fascination with global warming, being socially responsible and making sure we own a Prius at some point.

In keeping green we've got the following:

-The Times had an interesting article on a recently wed couple that sought to have aspects of their wedding green. I wouldn't say that this article was the impetus for this post but it definitely contributed.

-The Green Guide

-Ask Ethan @ Spiked!

-Grist

I'm going to start thinking about ways we can make our wedding greener than the black-and-white she wants it to be. I think we may be a bit limited by her tastes and expectations but even the smallest influence of green is better than none at all, right? I think so.

I'm not sure if it was the result of last semester's ethics course or if I just happened upon it in my web travels, but Treehugger is a pretty sweet site dedicated to all things green. Don't worry, it's not as granola as the name might suggest and Birkenstocks are not a requisite to enter. They sponsor some forward-thinking contests on sustainability, my favorite being the Cradle-to-Cradle umbrella. Poke around on this site long enough and you'll be itching to help make this world a greener place. The wedding they profile is a bit out there but I commend Laura and Darren for making it happen. Think it helps that its in New Zealand?

We'll have to give this some thought. Any other green ideas come to mind??

The Times on Weddings

Right before I proposed (12/16/06), the New York Times had a thread of stories on marriage and the surprises that could (and most likely do) come up as a result.

The first article chronicles how some spouses-to-be assume that they know each other yet haven't addressed such clear-cut issues like commitment to fidelity, debt, or when to start a family. It's a definite read.

The second is a great list of 12 questions that every soon-to-be-wed couple should ask each other. See for yourself.

Here are Coco's answers:
(shhh. she doesn't know I'm posting them.)

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver? Yes, we will and I would like both of us to share the responsibility.

2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh? I would like to have enough money to buy something from Christian Louboutin whenever I want to. Please. And save for our kids college education.

3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores? We both work, we should both maintain the household except you never have to clean my coffee pot.

4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental? No mental problems here, but I’m sure some would beg to differ. As for health, I go to the doctor quite regularly. He tells me to exercise more or tell me to stop paying the membership fees.

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect? Yes, probably too much. You've got a weird foot infatuation thing.

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears? Grrrrr.

7) Will there be a television in the bedroom? Yes, but I think it should be important to watch TV as a family, and there will be no tvs in our kids bedroom. Nor will they have phones.

8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints? I think so. Is it bad he falls asleep while I'm talking to him?

9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education? I don’t think there needs to be a formal education on it, but we can let the kids decide what they want to do. Circumcision is a must.

10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends? Yes, most of your friends are now mine.

11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship? No your mom is in Florida, how much interfering can she do?

12) What does my family do that annoys you? Your brother’s tell me the same stories over and over but you already know that ;). haha.

13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage? Shopping, within reason. And traveling...one vacation a year, please.

14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move? It’s open for discussion. Just promise me we don't have to move out of Brooklyn.

15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face I think so.


I think so?? Say what??

Recent Wedding Chatter

She's gonna kill me...but what do I care - she's already said yes AND its about the Honeymoon.


So, with Boogie finally returning from what seemed like way too many trips away from Brooklyn, her stories and pictures have Coco off and running with Honeymoon (the big 'H' is on purpose) ideas. Africa anyone??? Seems like a great idea as long as it fits into our............wait........wait for it............B-U-D-G-E-T. (Baby, here's a great blog to check out.)

-No progress on an officiant (my responsibility).

-No progress on a DJ (her responsibility).

-We might (heehee) go see a band showcase in the next week or two.

-We need to finish our Registry (the big 'R' is on purpose).

-And the engagement party will either be late spring or early summer (Read: sometime in June.)

For those that have actually read through the entire post here's some Honeymoon trivia:

It has been said that the origins of this word date back to the times of Babylon. In order to increase the virility and fertility of the newly-weds (now we're talking!), the father of the bride (Big A!!) would provide his son in law (that's me) with all the mead (or Black Label) he could drink during the first month of the marriage (and therefore "moon"). Given that the English word is only four hundred years old, direct attribution to Babylon is questionable, though often repeated. The custom of drinking mead (or Black Label) after a wedding for a month was also a medieval custom, however, and in practice at the time the word first appeared.

Other possible explanations of the word honeymoon have to do with the date that weddings traditionally took place. Weddings once commonly took place upon the Summer solstice both for religious reasons earlier on and also for the practical reason that it was the time between the main planting and harvesting of crops. As it was at this time of year that honey was first harvested, it is possible that this is also the source.

Hope you enjoyed the info.

Weddings Headlines

Well, its been almost a week since my last post and never did I think that the pure adrenaline rush associated with planning a wedding would wean. Gasp. Ne'er did I dreamth that the fair maiden Coco wouldth also be disinterestedth. As such, I've been given the task of selecting the officiant. Oh, goody. We've also been very busy keeping each other warm - NY is damn cold right now! But in keeping with wedding news I've got this medley of information to report:

As the US s-l-o-w-l-y aligns itself with what Kyoto supporters have affirmed for years, the world's scientists have again made a statement - the warming of the climate "is unequivocal". Although I'm glad that some couples are taking matters into their own hands, isn't this just really adding to the problem? Come on - think about it.


Am I the only one who thinks that we have a shot of joining this select group of wedding couples since you-know-who works you-know-where? It just reeks of 'we have the inside track', doesn't it. I thought so, too.

For those of you who haven't caught up on all things Jackass, Bam is again manipulating MTV into another audience shocker. How does the wife-to-be let is happen day in and day out??

OMG. Remember my blurb on one bride-to-be's bad hair day? (Read about it here. ) Well, it turns out the whole thing was a H-O-A-X. I don't know about you but 1) I am LIVID, and 2) I hate being duped....especially on YouTube. Can I call them bastards if they're girls. Well they are. Arrgghh. I feel like a fool - a naive fool. Oh, and get this - they're Canadian. Figures. They're already cursed so I guess it's fair. I'll sum it up in one sentence: What in the world are Canadians doing on Good Morning America?

All Canadian bashing aside (after all they did bring us The Tragically Hip), some good business threads are being discussed as a result. This. Or this. If I were going for my Phd and not my MBA I think I would say "I smell Thesis." I bet he thinks I should get one.