officiant
of·fi·ci·ant
noun.
One who performs a religious rite or presides over a religious service or ceremony.
Let's be honest for a second. [Pause]
I have no idea where to begin when it comes to looking for an officiant. I'm not religious and therefore don't go to church so I don't have a 'family' priest. The same applies for Coco.
I guess that means we go with a judge of sorts, no? A judge? really? To me that seems so not how I've pictured my wedding. I think Sean and expecting-mother-to-be-Jenoa had a judge although I don't really remember. That's good right - the not remembering. The last thing I think we want is for our guests to remember our officiant. The officiant should be pleasantly forgettable. So maybe Sean and expecting-mother-to-be-Jenoa's was OK. Go figure.
A judge just seems to set the wrong tone personally. Spirituality is important to the both of us but we definitely don't want the ceremony sprinkled with too many 'loves'. Too many loves = bad. Ironic, isn't it.
I need to pause; I'm being beckoned.
9 comments:
Maybe it is time to rethink your search criteria when a Sun Myung Moon Blessing Ceremony keeps popping to mind as the most obvious solution. (Unfortunately, ship captains are not authorized to perform weddings in New York (thank you bar exam prep course) so Captain Stubing is out).
Speaking up in support of the Judge wedding, you may (or may not, thereby satisfying your “pleasantly forgettable” criteria) recall that the unconventional (spiritually speaking) wedding you attended in Ohio a few years back was presided over by a judge. Use of a judge does not preclude the incorporation spiritual aspects. For this purpose, the job-title “judge,” like “minister” or “priest,” is just a proxy for State OK to preside over the legal aspect of the wedding. While maybe not easy to find in the phone book, there are many spiritual judges out there (some too much so for their positions by my judgment). I bet that like us you can find at least one that fits your style. (As a last resort, isn’t there at least one Rabbi from JTSA who owes you a favor for looking the other way when you found a recipe for a great pork roast on his computer?)
Order in the court! Order in the court!! If that wasn't pseudo-post-law-school-now-senior-associate-at-fancy-SquireSanders litigious babble then I don't know what is. You must know that not 10 minutes earlier I truly contemplated putting the good captain Stubing on the blog were it not for my penchant for afros. Isaac. I heart Isaac.
Here, here! Said wedding in Cleveland (Rocks!) was indeed memorable. Where or where is Mr. Montana now?? Oh, that's right - Montana.
I vaguely recall the judge (criteria #1 - CHECK) but was pleasantly surprised when asked to read at said nuptial. You'll be glad to know that my ignorance pertaining to judges doesn't stop with a powdery wig - I'm a firm believer that women, too, can wear them - just not at my wedding (please). I hope I'm as lucky as you in locating the right one.
On the JTS tip, never in all my days did I expect to see such glorious pork roasts swathed in perfectly marbled bacon. Mmmmm. Bacon. Let me know when Hugh has enough teeth please. Only then will he be the proud recipient of the Grateful Plate's Bacon of the month club. Yes, there is such a thing.
"Litigious babble?" That is how I always talk. Which, come to think of it, is probably why I was married by a judge...to another lawyer.
at least she finds you amusing.
You remember our wedding? I thought you were too drunk. That's how we plan to "remember" your wedding, too.
Judges rule!
Too drunk? Moi? Next time you order the table a round of shots.
The officiant at my wedding was a NY Supreme Court Justice. He did a nice job based on our input although was a little long-winded and the groom grew a little impatient. Needless to say, given my wedding was a very non-religious affair, I highly recommend going this route. Another alternative I highly recommend is to look into the New York Society for Ethical Culture which sounded very interesting to me and had we not been encouraged early on to go with the justice, I would have seriously considered going that route. - Aunt T
it seems there's another vote for the officer of the court. I'll have to look into this further. does the New York Society for Ethical Culture send officiants out or is all internal? It's not that clear on their site....
Here's what I found though:
Weddings
Our Leaders officiate at weddings for those interested in an Ethical Culture ceremony. We are especially concerned that ceremonies reflect a relationship of mutuality between the partners and equality among the sexes. Each ceremony is created by the couple with the assistance of a Leader, and stresses the ethical commitment and shared responsibility to the life and love that the couple will have together. In addition, this ceremony emphasizes the multiple facets of the relationship, the trust and work required, the giving and accepting of promises that have serious import, and the creativity of love. Because the marriage ceremony is based on an Ethical Humanist nonsectarian philosophy, it may be particularly appropriate for those without a traditional religious affiliation or for couples of different faiths. This ceremony is available to same-gender couples (though not recognized at this time as a legal marriage in New York State).
I believe the Ethical Society officiants go off-site if that is your question. However, I only briefly looked into their services 25 years ago so a more current investigation is needed if you are interested in going this route.
Also, on a totally unrelated issue, I love "Fools Rush In" by Elvis. I have always regretted not using this at my wedding as my first dance. I think I noticed it's a favorite of yours so playing it at some point during the affair would be really nice. - Aunt T
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