Because You Asked...

In blogging fashion, I thought I would provide readers (frequent or other) with some information that we may incorporate into our wedding ceremony.





The Unity Candle - I've seen it used before but I can't quite recall if it's use was indicative of a religious ceremony or not. Either way, I think it could be used as-is or tweaked to make it more personal.

As one can probably imagine, the bride and groom each take a lit candle and simultaneously light a third larger "unity candle." They may blow out their individual lights, or leave them lit, symbolizing that they have not lost their individuality in their unity. Personally, I'm not fond of blowing out the candles since I think its a bit too easy (and unnerving) to find something symbolic in extinguishing them; me being symbolic and all. [For your trivia buffs, this is similar to the South African !Kung ceremony in which fire from the hearths of the homes of both families is used to start a fire in the newlyweds' home.]

Minister Keith (of NYMarriages) mentioned an alternative yet similarly symbolic ceremony, the sand ceremony. I like the idea but I just don't think it comes off as clean as the candle ceremony. Way too messy if you ask me. What if we use white sand??

I'm a fan of the wine ceremony where the bride and groom each take a carafe of wine and pour it into a single glass, which they both drink from. Heck, I'll drink anything. Even something as weak as wine.

Perhaps we can combine them as follows:

1 part Big A's Campari
1 part her mom's Wild Turkey (Gobble! Gobble!)
1 part Coco's (crap) Bud/Coor's light (no link necessary)
1 part Black Label (I wouldn't dare ruin a single malt doing this!)
1 part Mom's white wine with ice

Shake - because 007 never had it stirred. Pour into holy grail. Sip (or at least pretend to). Take said Holy Grail and attempt to break via foot like the Israeli Nation (representin! hoooo!). I think I've covered all of the bases, no?

In all seriousness, I like the idea of the unity candle and will figure out how best to incorporate it. Logistics within the chapel will most likely drive this.

Minster Keith (of NY Marriages)

So, I've had our very first officiant interview. Progress. See what happens when I get a week off from school!?

The interview, albeit via phone, was pleasantly uneventful and sufficiently informative - just what I wanted. Minister Keith has been ordained for almost 2 years and in that time has wed 30-40 couples. He grew up going to Catholic school (Nan should love that, huh.) but has since, I think, drifted to more liberal views. He's wed inter-faith, same-sex and non-demoninational (hee hee) marriages and understands that not every faith answers all questions. Personally, I liked that about him. He's 34, was married almost 2 years ago and has a set of twins (a boy and a girl). Do you think the twin thing is a sign?? He also provided 2 references that he has married as early as November 2006. He seems very professional and strongly urges a meeting before we go to contract. Chemistry is key.

Our conversation wasn't forced and he answered all of my questions, and to be honest, was impressed with how thorough I was - imagine that - me being thorough. As expected, there will be a contract with a a 'back up minister' provision just in case triplets strike.

His website is pretty complete, has an FAQ, a list of services, sample vows, and some sponsor links. [Here] I would really only change one thing - some more pictures. What can I say - I'm a picture kind of guy. Either of him and couples he has wed or just him. Image is important to us regardless of how old (or young) someone may be. Here's a picture of him. He will also ask us to complete a brief questionnaire so that he can incorporate some of the answers into the ceremony. That seems cool.

Here it is:

Where did you meet?

What’s your favorite thing about one another?

What religious faith do you most closely adhere?

What is your perception of the ideal marriage?

If you had to choose one adjective to describe your fiancé, what would it be?

Any other comments you would like to consider adding to the procession narrative:



Seems pretty straightforward, no?

Since this is the first of what we hope will be only a few interviews, the cost structure of the various packages that he offers seems OK (read: affordable) - $350 & $400 for 3 different packages. Does that seem on par?

I'm only worried about one thing though - after following the link to the group that did his website, their contact form playfully suggests an email address that I find rather offensive - joe@YankeesRule.com - see for yourself. I mean, come on, as it stands they can't even beat Tampa Bay on opening day (as of the 6th inning). I think this is the only strike against Minister Keith. Pun intentional.

He gets points back for believing that Stef and I are students studying the Lordosis affect on hermaphroditic internal fertilization in mammals. Silly minister. We're just students of love.

ps. I'm not sure if it was me or not but I think he said "Stefi". Eeek.

pps. The above ps is ruled null and void since he spelled Coco's name right on the sample vow and contract. Go Minister Keith.

ppps. Mets. Rule.

pppps. Minister Keith, if you're out there, thanks for taking time to speak.