In no particular order-#1: One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do
anything you want. So he tied her up and went golfing.
#2: A man came home, screeching his car into the driveway, and ran into the house. He slammed the door and shouted at the top of is
lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The wife said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," he said. "Just get out."
#3: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
#4 (AKA my personal favorite): A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!
Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you 're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
Proudly brought to you by the bride-to-be's father
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