Coco Strikes Gold - The Registry Kind

I missed the boat but was miraculously thrown a life preserver by the bride-to-be. Whew. I'm not sure how I missed it but it's definitely good blog fodder. A job well done, baby.

Discussing the very concept of a registry is fraught with deep, complex issues: What do we register for? What do we want vs. what do we need? Do we really need that? What should we not register for? What will most of our friends and family pick off? What will be left that we have to then pick up to complete a set of something? This list goes on.

And sadly, the issues do not disappear just because you're on the other side of the line actually building a registry. (I use the term 'building' because one must really give thought to this. Slapping together a hodge-podge of wants & wishes can actually be a detriment and cost something.)

I'll be the first person to tell you that I avoided registries; I thought they were too impersonal for the relationship I have/had with the bride and groom. I like to make sure there's meaning behind the gift. Coco has appropriately slapped me out of my fantasy. Hello real world. Registries - consider me your slave.

What I failed to read, and Coco so graciously pointed out to me, was an inquisitive and insightful Gawker post. [Gawker - a cog in the Nick Denton Gawker Media machine; the blog that you love to hate; Other blogs include Wonkette, Defamer and one of my personal favs - Gizmodo. The list goes on. Just google him and see for yourself.]

The post, that I am sl-ow-ly getting to, is an expose` on The Worst Wedding In The World. With brevity in mind, I'll attempt to consolidate most of the important points.

1) I didn't know a Modern Bride Of The Year crown even existed. I'd like one please.

2) How can someone really invite 200 guests to a destination wedding and expect them all to show up? Rumor has it the destination was Cali wine country.

3) The couple is "ready to take the sickest honeymoon of all time." That's so rad.

4) And as such, have registered with Starwood for said sickest honeymoon of all time. Yes, I said registered. See how they have been doing here!

5) The groom-to-be states the following "With Heather in school, etc., unfortunately we're not really at the life juncture of copper cookware, roasters, and 400 count Egyptian [sic] cotton sheets". 400 thread-count sheets? Sounds so Martha, n'est pas?

Here's the link again in case you missed it. [Here] Be sure to read the comments. Here are some of my favorites. (Warning: not for the faint of heart)

"if there is a god, she will be waiting for them"

"This has MD telethon written all over it."

"Also, in browsing the "Our Friends" section of the website I can't help but think that if her girlfriends were as good-looking as she is, she'd have a pool of wealthy older husbands to mooch from. That's what you get for being one of those girls who likes to be surrounded by less attractive women. "

"Can you say 'Cash Bar'?!"

"In my day, this was called 'begging'."

"And Heather, do you take Mike to be your lawfully wedded husband? I douche."


I'm in line with the majority that have commented; I think the bride and groom might be extending themselves a bit too much. But I'd also be lying if I said I never, ever, ever, ever mentioned something along identical lines. It's almost as bad as registering for assistance in clearing personal debt. Or how about registering to assist with mortgage payments? If guests are willing to contribute to starting a home, why not suggest what it is they should be getting. Sort of sounds like the whole idea behind a traditional gift registry, no?

Daniel Gross at Slate takes a defensive position dropping topics such as socially-accepted-recipient-directed giving, the emerging field of happiness studies, 'transumers' (people who are driven by experiences not objects) and frictionless transactions. It really makes for an interesting read.