Time

Whoa. Not once did I think that there would be a 20 day hiatus in posting wedding-related news to HWOTH. We've experienced some ups and downs this month and our time has been very limited of late. I guess life is supposed to do that, huh? RIPSTYW

Well let's see what I put out there...

* The picture related to this story caught my eye more than anything else. Agree/Disagree? Looks the entree to a joke. Lewd, I hope.

* Um, I love when Scots (or Brits) use the word dodgy. "I tried to ban loads of relatives from my own nuptials – and not just because they might look dodgy in the photographs." An interesting perspective to say the least. I dare you to make it a part of your everyday chatter.

*Its a shame that its taken this long for this to happen down unda, mate.

* Tiffany's quality on a Macy's budget - The rise and fall of Fortunoffs. Gulp! Eek! Uh, oh!

* According to WeddingChannel.com we still need to deal with wedding insurance, hotels, and a veil for Coco. Baby, what's up with center pieces??

* Romo? Jessica? Say What?!?!?

Coco Strikes Gold - The Registry Kind

I missed the boat but was miraculously thrown a life preserver by the bride-to-be. Whew. I'm not sure how I missed it but it's definitely good blog fodder. A job well done, baby.

Discussing the very concept of a registry is fraught with deep, complex issues: What do we register for? What do we want vs. what do we need? Do we really need that? What should we not register for? What will most of our friends and family pick off? What will be left that we have to then pick up to complete a set of something? This list goes on.

And sadly, the issues do not disappear just because you're on the other side of the line actually building a registry. (I use the term 'building' because one must really give thought to this. Slapping together a hodge-podge of wants & wishes can actually be a detriment and cost something.)

I'll be the first person to tell you that I avoided registries; I thought they were too impersonal for the relationship I have/had with the bride and groom. I like to make sure there's meaning behind the gift. Coco has appropriately slapped me out of my fantasy. Hello real world. Registries - consider me your slave.

What I failed to read, and Coco so graciously pointed out to me, was an inquisitive and insightful Gawker post. [Gawker - a cog in the Nick Denton Gawker Media machine; the blog that you love to hate; Other blogs include Wonkette, Defamer and one of my personal favs - Gizmodo. The list goes on. Just google him and see for yourself.]

The post, that I am sl-ow-ly getting to, is an expose` on The Worst Wedding In The World. With brevity in mind, I'll attempt to consolidate most of the important points.

1) I didn't know a Modern Bride Of The Year crown even existed. I'd like one please.

2) How can someone really invite 200 guests to a destination wedding and expect them all to show up? Rumor has it the destination was Cali wine country.

3) The couple is "ready to take the sickest honeymoon of all time." That's so rad.

4) And as such, have registered with Starwood for said sickest honeymoon of all time. Yes, I said registered. See how they have been doing here!

5) The groom-to-be states the following "With Heather in school, etc., unfortunately we're not really at the life juncture of copper cookware, roasters, and 400 count Egyptian [sic] cotton sheets". 400 thread-count sheets? Sounds so Martha, n'est pas?

Here's the link again in case you missed it. [Here] Be sure to read the comments. Here are some of my favorites. (Warning: not for the faint of heart)

"if there is a god, she will be waiting for them"

"This has MD telethon written all over it."

"Also, in browsing the "Our Friends" section of the website I can't help but think that if her girlfriends were as good-looking as she is, she'd have a pool of wealthy older husbands to mooch from. That's what you get for being one of those girls who likes to be surrounded by less attractive women. "

"Can you say 'Cash Bar'?!"

"In my day, this was called 'begging'."

"And Heather, do you take Mike to be your lawfully wedded husband? I douche."


I'm in line with the majority that have commented; I think the bride and groom might be extending themselves a bit too much. But I'd also be lying if I said I never, ever, ever, ever mentioned something along identical lines. It's almost as bad as registering for assistance in clearing personal debt. Or how about registering to assist with mortgage payments? If guests are willing to contribute to starting a home, why not suggest what it is they should be getting. Sort of sounds like the whole idea behind a traditional gift registry, no?

Daniel Gross at Slate takes a defensive position dropping topics such as socially-accepted-recipient-directed giving, the emerging field of happiness studies, 'transumers' (people who are driven by experiences not objects) and frictionless transactions. It really makes for an interesting read.

Damn you Fortunoff!!!!!

The silver pattern that we spent hours selecting has just been discontinued!!!!

Typical. Just as we start to make Registry headway - BAM! - the corporate gods slap us back to the real world.

The saga, I'm afraid to admit,continues.

The Registry - Round 2

So, today we hope to finish up our Registry. If we don't end up spending 2 hours trying to pick out formal flatware like we did last time maybe we can be out of Fortunoff's in less than 8 or 9 hours.

Some items we hope to register for if the masses haven't scooped them up already:

The Simpsons Do Donuts

Popeil's Pocket Fisherman. You know what they say - "Give a woman a fish; you have fed her for today. Teach a woman to fish; and you have fed her for a lifetime. Teach a woman to sell fish and she''ll have Jimmy Choos for life." Oh, and the right enticement.

Really nice salt-n-pepper shakers

Sprinkles? We don't need no stinkin' sprinkles!!

Help in the kitchen

A green trash compactor

Essential barware


Have I left anything out??

Oh, we've decided to dump the crystal stemware we've already chosen in favor of these. No doubt, an awesome find.

OMG. This will go great with the Bud Light Coco loves to drink.

And In Wedding News Around The World

My How Registering Has Changed
Today's Times has an interesting blurb on how registering has evolved. There's slim hope, lol, that we'll go this route if she has anything to say about it. Seems rather fitting given the weekend's agenda, no?

Wedding Mandate
There aren't many stipulations that I bring to the wedding scheduling process, but the correlation between the fact that she wants an October wedding and this find is uncanny.

Celebrity Wedding News
Looks like the person I didn't propose to has modified her lifestyle a bit to ensure everything goes 'on' without a hitch. Kudos to her. I hope it works out.

And in "6 degrees of Heidi Fleiss news" there's this. I wonder if you know who will play at the wedding? Or maybe he'll show up. Either way it goes down I'd love to hear what the best man has to say.

Gate Crashers
OMG. Can you imagine if something like this goes down on my wedding day. Jeez. Gate Crashers? We don't need no stinking gate crashers.

The Registry

My last post of the day - maybe - but last night was our first real sit down to discuss what to register for. Man, did it bug me out. I swear I felt my blood pressure jump 20 or 30 points. I wouldn't say I'm a 'minimalist' but I'm definitely a 'functionalist'. Not, however, the traditional functionalist associated with crime causal theories or societal views and norms. I'm the "if I have it I'm not sure I need it so let's get something else" functionalist. The kind that can make do with the Crate & Barrel forks, knifes and spoons that I already have, 7,8 and 10, respectively.
The kind that can be fine with hosting for dinner 6 with a place setting for 4. Am I in the minority or the majority?